Twins: how to bring up TWO people who have ONE special bond.

A peculiar educational condition is the one relevant to twin couples, both in the parental approach and in the development of each personality.

Twins are in constant interaction with each other and affect each other for what concerns their psychic and physical development.

“This is precisely the reason why they may face a difficult process of identification or socialising issues because of a rejection of the twin couple. That can make the separation of the twins difficult to face as well as the development of their own autonomy. But in can also lead to severe forms of competitiveness because they might show identical needs at the same time in order to draw their parents’ attention” Piera Brustia, professor of dynamic psychology at Turin University explains.

Parents are often assailed by this doubt: Should I enrol my kids to the same school or even the same class?

“Also in this case there is no single answer. Some are convinced that by differentiating (also)their school curriculum, their personalities will be free to develop. But this is not universally true. Sometimes the same children show their desire to be separated, but sometimes they express their need to share teachers and school friends. It’s better to indulge them.”

In any case, a team of psychologists of the Amsterdam University have monitored around 2000 couples of twin since the age of 12 without detecting any difference neither in their sociality nor in their school performance whether they have been in the same class or not.

At CEFA schools, since we are aware of the wonderful opportunities, but also of the “risks” of twin couples in the same class or school, the psychologist of the school works together with the educational team in order to have an attention to the detail of their educational path. The psychologist monitors the lessons of the class in order to find possible problems/conflicts, manage and turn them into a growth opportunity for both the children.

Enrolling twins in two separate classes in order to guarantee the differentiation and harmonious development of their own personality is commonly regarded as important – Dr. Carol Faitella- Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Analyst trainee as well as expert in Neuropsychology of the Evolutionary Age and responsible of the Observation and Psychological Counselling project at Iunior and Petranova International- explains.

However, is every adult’s duty to strengthen and develop the children’s own individual identities, by fostering that sense of uniqueness through growth and development paths which are able to understand strengths and weaknesses and turn them into a resource for each other without leading to any sort of conflict or competition. This will be a teacher’s duty to understand and valorise the uniqueness of the single child, by ensuring that each of them have the possibility to develop their own individuality in a continuous and autonomous interaction with their peers”.