Each individual is called, over time, to discover himself or herself through experience and dialogue
During the 4th CEFA Convention, an annual appointment for teachers and school employees, focused this year on the attention and care of the relationship, Prof. Elena Colombetti, professor in Applied Ethics at the University of the Holy Cross, spoke on the theme of the ‘relationship with the other’ as a foundation for the discovery of one's own identity.
In the whirlwind of everyday life, between commitments, relationships and the succession of events in our personal history, it is difficult to be able to look at ourselves with detachment, observing our own path from above. Often, while we live focused on our chaotic movement, those around us observe us from outside, offering us a different perspective on ourselves.
We therefore need the narrative of others to understand who we are because one’s identity is not built in solitude, but is revealed through confrontation with others. This does not mean that others can define us, but their gaze becomes an essential tool for understanding ourselves. Diversity thus becomes the first fundamental element for our growth: we discover our boundaries and our uniqueness precisely because there is someone different from us beside us.
Similarly, this principle applies to the parent-child relationship. A child is not a reflection of the parent, nor an extension of his or her wishes or regrets. He or she must not accomplish what the parent failed to achieve, nor retrace his or her steps exactly. Each individual is called upon to discover himself over time, through experience and dialogue, in a process of continuous personal revelation.
True growth occurs in the encounter between different gazes, in the knowledge that our point of view is only one of a myriad of possible perspectives. Only by recognising this multiplicity can we truly understand ourselves and our place in the world.
Prof. Elena Colombetti, Professor of Applied Ethics at the University of the Holy Cross, is Associate Professor of Moral Philosophy at the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart, where she teaches courses in Moral Philosophy, Elements of Bioethics and Philosophical Anthropology.
CEFA 4 Family is the column of CEFA Schools designed to collect and offer practical and useful advice to become aware parents and support their children in their growth.
